TORN BETWEEN TWO CHOICES

Sam asks Coach Linda for Help:
The past few years have been extremely challenging. I have been dealing with financial matters, family challenges, and losses in my investment portfolio. On top of all of that -I am married to a dynamic and amazing woman.

Since I got married, my wife and I have not been able to concentrate on our life, starting a family or simply moving forward in our life because of all of my important distractions.
I remember reading that you always say to look at the cause not the symptoms. I can see and feel the symptoms but am unable to find my cause. Can you help guide me in the right direction?
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Coach Linda’s Response to Sam
During their call Coach Linda Berger was able to guide Sam in the direction he needed to go. Straight to what he didn’t want to hear.

SITUATION:
Sam has a very big and caring heart which one can only see with close examination and a trained eye. He really cares and is willing to do whatever it takes to do the right thing.

If there is one thing I can spot is a mushy heart behind a tough demeanor. Sam has taken on insurmountable challenges so early in his married life, all of which appear seemingly worth the stress and strain on his life and possibly marriage.

His wife “had his back” on his journey to reconcile the situations on which he felt he had no choice but to move forward. Everyone was counting on him to do the right thing.

OBJECTIVES /GOALS
Sam was focused on what was happening in front of him, and in that process he was completely in a reactive mode of operating. His plate quickly became over-filled with situations creating chaos in his financial and personal life.

Sam wanted to make productive decisions that would allow him to view these situations from a broader perspective, so that he could reevaluate his past choices and find their common denominator. He was looking to name it…tame it…claim it…

SOLUTIONS IN CHANGE
He was caught in reacting, instead of calculating the risk factor. Emotions were replacing his business sense. He knew this road could create financial perils for him in the very near future. He needed to quickly change his perspective and then create a plan to support that focus.

TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO REACH CHANGE
Coach Linda told Sam that he was in a battle for his strength and courage while being emotionally entrenched in matters of the heart. He could not think himself out of this one.

She explained, much to his chagrin, that his well developed business and decision-making skills weren’t going to work to relieve this chaos. Sam was used to taking calculated risks.

Although the opponent appeared to be the evil forces of family dynamics, the volatile money platforms, and expenses that were quickly adding up, Sam felt he had no control. He just wanted to do the right thing. And the right thing was creating great stress in his life and within his body.

At this point Sam’s only decision was the hardest one he had made thus far –to make a choice –he had to choose.


AH HA CREATING CHANGE MOMENT
Sam’s ah ha changing moment came when he realized he had been a fence sitter. That it takes great inner strength and courage to go against the grain, the so-called ‘doing the right thing’.

Even though all signs pointed to his ‘doing the right thing’…he was really controlling “how he looked” in doing the right thing, by not choosing.

He was letting the circumstances pull him in deeper, versus making tough decisions that build inner strength and courage.


RELEASING A CHANGE BLOCK
Sam’s newly developed decision-making skill level was a life lesson given to him through engaging in his life and the matters of his heart.

He realized that he had been blindsided by the circumstances in trying to ‘do the right thing’. In hindsight, the ‘right thing’ changes with different perspectives and emotional attachments from each person at any given moment.

CREATING CHANGE RESULTS
Sam now knows that personal inner growth happens when faced with what appears to be a higher purpose…in this case his family. But what about his new family? What was the price he was paying to be in control of doing the right thing? He determined to guide himself with his own internal strength and courage, and the “right thing” for him will come out of that.

Is it our task to identify the “right thing” to do, for ourselves? No one outside of us has the key to that knowledge. It is locked inside of each of us for our own discovery. Coach Linda