Michelle asks Coach Linda for Help:
“Every Monday I wake up with a quiet sense of panic and terror. It starts in my sleep on Sunday evening with irritability at sounds waking me up and then night terrors. It seems to be occurring with more regularity in the past few weeks. Can you help me with some insight as to why this is happening?”
Thank you for any help with this matter.
Michelle
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Linda’s Response to Michelle
Coach Linda called Michelle to get some more back ground as to what was going on in her life most recently and to find out the state of her self talk.
Michelle told me that she recently lost her job and was determined to find her passion and make a career out of it. She would not take just any job. She would find one that gave her a sense of joy utilizing many of her talents and gifts.
SITUATION:
Michelle has worked strictly for a paycheck in the past and since she is no longer employed and has some money in the bank, she wanted to create a career to express her passion for helping people
She had the gift of having a quiet sense of calmness in chaos including the ability to think clearly when under stress. Michelle had run teams and offices so she knew how to bring out the best in people, create calm and enable people to feel heard and empowered.
Her problem – the process of waiting for something to happen – was causing her to go into what she called a silent sense of panic and despair. She had never felt this vulnerable before.
Now Michelle had to depend on her own ability to create a paycheck in order to make ends meet and since she had never really had this responsibility before – she was scared.
Hence – a quiet sense of desperation.
OBJECTIVES /GOALS
Michelle would need to focus on what she wanted and create the courage to get it if she truly was going to live her passion and help people in her new chosen path.
She felt a faux sense of courage with money in the bank. Coach Linda explained to her that when it is time for us to grow by challenging ourselves, our circumstances change. Loosing her job created the circumstance. Michele didn’t feel the full effect of change in the air because she had a feeling of safety with money in the bank.
As time when on and the money was being depleted her so-called ‘courage’ to build a satisfying career was waning.
Coach Linda knows this is a red flag. When a safety net is in place (money in the bank in this circumstance) so-called courage abounds, masking the lack of true perseverance of purpose. What appears to be focus is wishful thinking.
Michelle was about to get a lesson in how her internal workings of autopilot kick into work mode when change is in the air.
SOLUTIONS
Coach Linda’s philosophy is to ‘focus only on what you want’ and ‘to burn your ships’ so you can only move toward your goal. That will work on you being 100% committed to success. Failure will only be a fear not an option. And panic will show up and she will learn to - Name It, Tame It, Claim It – only by facing it.
As Michelle focuses all of her energies on moving forward toward her goal, her internal workings start to go into rescue mode. “WARNING - WARNING - DANGER, you are about to go into unknown territories. We don’t have a proven system for rescue!”
Michelle must consciously take control of the old mode of rescue and create a new one by focusing on her true goal -which may look like a new career path but in reality it is to grow in the power of true courage and strength with a sense of purpose by reaching for her new career path.
It is all right for her to acknowledge the panic and despair while she is validating her actions in moving forward. Michelle would need to use her own gift of compassion and calmness in chaos on her own fears holding her own hand as she puts one foot in front of the other.
In doing so Michelle would learn to trust a new mode of rescue, her own— one supported through courage and strength in her own abilities and intuition.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO CREATE CHANGE
Michelle’s focus had been diverted without her knowledge to rescue survival mode. While she was in a panic mode her dream had faded into a smoky mist of uncertainty and self-doubt, rather than focused on creating her new career –one in which she loved, giving her a great sense of satisfaction in her abilities to create. She was slowing loosing that dream in quiet desperation.
In developing her new chosen path, there wasn’t a paycheck coming in and her savings was being depleted. Michelle would need to consciously reevaluate her expenses.
Coach Linda suggested Michelle write to-do lists to support achieving her goal, breaking it down to categories, time lines, steps to be done monthly, weekly and daily so she wouldn’t go into panic in her sleep. Keeping her mind focus on moving forward.
AH HA MOMENT CREATING CHANGE
Michelle got her ah ha moment when she realized there was a bigger picture going on in her life and that loosing her job opened the opportunity for her to be the person she had always dreamed of being but was scared of risking being without money. She was surprised how little she could live on when it came down to realizing her dreams.
Michelle’s second ah ha moment came when she realized it was just a matter of retraining her ability to jump into action to protect herself. She said, “it is like breathing- I am always protecting my life by taking in a breath which I never consciously think about until I find myself holding my breath in fear.”
RELEASING A BLOCK TO CHANGE
She also realized that the panic and despair was actually a feeling of being vulnerable – a feeling she was not familiar with. In focusing on her dreams she had to face the fears to dispel the energy because she couldn’t concentrate on both at the same time.
CREATING CHANGE RESULTS
Michelle knows she must consciously choose her dreams and that fear will continue to show up, not to hurt her but to protect her. So until choosing the path for her dreams becomes a habitual way of thinking for her she will have to be consciously aware of what she is concentrating on.
Michelle had a renewed and focused sense of purpose. She realized the journey she had embarked on for a new career was really a journey in her own sense of discovery.
Life only has itself to teach us about our magnificence.—Linda
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