“My real estate business has always been a consistent source of income. Then business just stopped.” --Mike
SITUATION
When Mike joined the Productivity Booster Coaching Program he had doubts that his business would recover in the current real estate market.
He was going through his savings while attempting to keep up with the market changes. Mike was taking training to learn new tools necessary to keep up with the market changes but to no avail. His production numbers barely changed.
What Mike didn’t realized was the impact this struggle created on his emotional state of being. He had internalized a state of hopeless and had not recognized the signs.
He felt as if the weight of the world was on his shoulders and he had no idea what to do to change it. He just kept showing up for his business and taking more classes trying to get something to change as he watched his debt grow and savings disappear along with his sales production.
OBJECTIVES/GOALS
Mike knew he wasn’t going to leave the real estate business. But he also knew that he was not equipped to find his way through the massive changes that had swept through his business and life.
Mike wanted to resuscitate his real estate business and bring his production up.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO REACH SOLUTIONS
Coach Linda asked Mike to organized the systems and procedures he had already established in his business. He was to redefine his goals with quarterly benchmarks. She asked him to reassess his way of doing business including how he allocated his time and money.
She knew that in order for Mike to overcome the hopeless state he was in, it was imperative that Mike create very well thought out and realistic goals. He would then make a plan with precise action steps to take, and time tables to follow, in supporting his goals.
This would give him a daily focus with benchmarks placed in strategic locations to empower Mike in knowing he was making progress.
BUMPS IN THE ROAD TO A BREAKTHROUGH
Mike told Coach Linda that he had made goals in the past that had not been met; wouldn’t it be the same? “I keep showing up for work day after day, month turning into another month without a commission check.”
This was Mike’s hopelessness speaking; he was programmed to be being disappointed again. What he didn’t know was that this time it would be different because he had a few safety nets in place. Mike hired a coach and his goals were realistic, not based on trying to keep up with the top producers in the office.
By trying to keep up with top agents, Mike inadvertently set himself up to feel inferior, thus allowing hopelessness to set in.
AH HA MOMENT
Mike followed Coach Linda’s instruction to the letter. He got his ah ha moment when he realized that even though he was taking new classes and learning new skill levels he continuously put himself down by comparing his current production level to his past and the production level of other so called ‘top producers’ around him.
Mike was too busy putting his performance down to acknowledge the impact that the market changes had on everyone’s business. Other agents were also feeling the effect of the market shifts; they just showed it in a different way. And that maybe they were hopeful in their business, all the while Mike had allowed the energy of hopelessness to weigh himself and his business down.
BREAKTHROUGH: RELEASING AN EMOTIONAL BLOCK
Mike had experienced that refocusing his thinking and being realistic in his goals created hopefulness inside of him. Now, Mike was aware of his internal change from hopefulness and purposeful direction to hopelessness and inferior thoughts.
BREAKTHROUGH RESULTS
Mike developed systems inside of himself and his business that would help him red flag a change in his emotional attitude by the increase or decrease of his sales production allowing him to make timely changes back to meeting his goals.
When sales production drops dramatically, look to your emotional state for disappointment and grief which can easily lead to hopelessness. --Coach Linda
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
THE DRAMA QUEEN IS BACK; HER DRUG OF CHOICE WAS ADRENALIN
Diane Asks Coach Linda for help:
I can’t believe it; I am starting all over again with my business. In the past two years I have had to close my business and move locations three times. Each closing creating more financial hardship because of the loss of client work for a couple of months.
Since this is the third time this is happening, can you help me with insight to stop this pattern from resurfacing now that I am ready to reopen my business again? --Diane
Coach Linda’s “Assessment and Help”
SITUATION
Coach Linda Berger gave Diane a call to assess her situation and to talk to her about any common clues as to what was really going on for her.
Diane explained that she does love drama because of the adrenal rush she gets from having to think on her feet and handle the fallout of the drama. It seems when Diane needs a break or some time off, circumstances come together where dramatic situations converge and life offers her some needed time off.
OBJECTIVES/GOALS
Coach Linda suggested Diane take the time to listen to what she is telling herself when business becomes overwhelming. Diane typically would find out what she would do in her life once she had the adrenalin rush from her dramatic situations. Since drama was her drug of choice.
Diane was to discover that her beliefs were based on the mundane chores of everyday life. What opinion did she hold regarding being ordinary, boring, uninteresting or common? What did these words mean to her? How did they affect her when thinking of herself as any one or all of them?
SOLUTIONS FOR CHANGE
Coach Linda told Diane that her need for life to be colorful and have the feeling of being full of life, was a need that covered up a fear. This is a faux feeling of passion that she would get from her drug of choice –adrenalin.
Diane’s assignment was to do the introspective work discovering the words that start the chain reaction leading to another financial hardship.
She wanted to stop the pattern, and self-discovering was the only way to do it, because she had been on autopilot. She was in a cycle where she thought she needed time off because “life is too mundane” she thought. She always created a solution using drama. When she felt the rug being pulled out from under her, she immediately generated fuel –adrenalin from drama—that she thought she needed to overcome as victor and reestablish her business. And the cycle continued.
AH HA CHANGING MOMENT
Diane’s ah ha moment sneaked up on her when she least expected it. She was rebuilding her business from a literal sense--painting and plasterin--when the light bulb went off.
Her “drama queen” persona presented Diane with its own version of ‘some time off’. Time where the queen could express her creative flair, be creative and color her world any color she picked for the walls of Diane’s soon to reopen business.
Diane realized had she just made the choice to give herself permission to take some well needed time off on a much needed vacation, that she could return to a thriving business taking care of her clients, making money doing what she loves.
RELEASING A BLOCK TO CHANGE
It didn’t take long for Diane to let go of this pattern and release any block to changing the drama queen’s reign over her life and business. She took action immediately.
She hired a painter, refocused on getting her business back on track, planned a vacation, and decided to make time for creative expression so the drama queen inside her would not feel neglected and end up “taxing” her financially.
CHANGE RESULTS
Diane was attuned enough into her intuition to realize something was amiss and that it was time to wake up and see what was calling for her attention.
The change that resulted from introspection opened up her life experiences to a healthier way of running her business, giving herself permission for some R and R, and for reestablishing her acting and painting.
As for her drug of choice, Diane decided that “real fueling” of her real passions far outweigh the repercussions of faux passion from drama fallout.
The trick to the drama queen inside is to retire her, but give her something to do so she will not get you in any more trouble! --Coach Linda
I can’t believe it; I am starting all over again with my business. In the past two years I have had to close my business and move locations three times. Each closing creating more financial hardship because of the loss of client work for a couple of months.
Since this is the third time this is happening, can you help me with insight to stop this pattern from resurfacing now that I am ready to reopen my business again? --Diane
Coach Linda’s “Assessment and Help”
SITUATION
Coach Linda Berger gave Diane a call to assess her situation and to talk to her about any common clues as to what was really going on for her.
Diane explained that she does love drama because of the adrenal rush she gets from having to think on her feet and handle the fallout of the drama. It seems when Diane needs a break or some time off, circumstances come together where dramatic situations converge and life offers her some needed time off.
OBJECTIVES/GOALS
Coach Linda suggested Diane take the time to listen to what she is telling herself when business becomes overwhelming. Diane typically would find out what she would do in her life once she had the adrenalin rush from her dramatic situations. Since drama was her drug of choice.
Diane was to discover that her beliefs were based on the mundane chores of everyday life. What opinion did she hold regarding being ordinary, boring, uninteresting or common? What did these words mean to her? How did they affect her when thinking of herself as any one or all of them?
SOLUTIONS FOR CHANGE
Coach Linda told Diane that her need for life to be colorful and have the feeling of being full of life, was a need that covered up a fear. This is a faux feeling of passion that she would get from her drug of choice –adrenalin.
Diane’s assignment was to do the introspective work discovering the words that start the chain reaction leading to another financial hardship.
She wanted to stop the pattern, and self-discovering was the only way to do it, because she had been on autopilot. She was in a cycle where she thought she needed time off because “life is too mundane” she thought. She always created a solution using drama. When she felt the rug being pulled out from under her, she immediately generated fuel –adrenalin from drama—that she thought she needed to overcome as victor and reestablish her business. And the cycle continued.
AH HA CHANGING MOMENT
Diane’s ah ha moment sneaked up on her when she least expected it. She was rebuilding her business from a literal sense--painting and plasterin--when the light bulb went off.
Her “drama queen” persona presented Diane with its own version of ‘some time off’. Time where the queen could express her creative flair, be creative and color her world any color she picked for the walls of Diane’s soon to reopen business.
Diane realized had she just made the choice to give herself permission to take some well needed time off on a much needed vacation, that she could return to a thriving business taking care of her clients, making money doing what she loves.
RELEASING A BLOCK TO CHANGE
It didn’t take long for Diane to let go of this pattern and release any block to changing the drama queen’s reign over her life and business. She took action immediately.
She hired a painter, refocused on getting her business back on track, planned a vacation, and decided to make time for creative expression so the drama queen inside her would not feel neglected and end up “taxing” her financially.
CHANGE RESULTS
Diane was attuned enough into her intuition to realize something was amiss and that it was time to wake up and see what was calling for her attention.
The change that resulted from introspection opened up her life experiences to a healthier way of running her business, giving herself permission for some R and R, and for reestablishing her acting and painting.
As for her drug of choice, Diane decided that “real fueling” of her real passions far outweigh the repercussions of faux passion from drama fallout.
The trick to the drama queen inside is to retire her, but give her something to do so she will not get you in any more trouble! --Coach Linda
Thursday, July 23, 2009
FRUSTRATED WITH THE DRAMA ALL AROUND HER
Jen Asks Coach Linda for help:
I have found myself very frustrated with the drama of my friends lately. The strange thing –I never really noticed it before and now that I can hear it in their stories. I am so annoyed that I do not even want to spend time talking to them, but I don’t want to give up their friendship either.
Any insight into how I can change my way of thinking about them? Is it them or me? Jen
Coach Linda’s “Assessment and Help”
SITUATION
Coach Linda Berger gave Jen a call to understand the specifics of her question. Jen mentioned that she no longer had the patience of listening to the drama of her girlfriend’s lives. She was interested in moving forward in her life and not spending hours talking and listening to the same old stories.
Nothing had changed in their stories although something changed inside of Jen. She didn’t want to loose her dear friends although spending time with them was extremely stressful. She just wanted to tell them how she felt but didn’t want to hurt their feelings.
OBJECTIVES/GOALS
Coach Linda suggested Jen get in touch with the true source of her frustration, by looking deeper into what feelings or thoughts she was trying to become aware of, without dumping her frustrations on them.
Linda explained to Jen that frustration is a distraction covering up a potential unmet expectation, fear or outgrown belief about ourselves.
At this point she could either stay stuck, or she could choose to use this opportunity to take a risk with her friends, in order to overcome this once and for all.
SOLUTIONS FOR CHANGE
Coach Linda reminded Jen that life only has itself to teach us about our magnificence; and these circumstances created an ideal chance for her to grow by risking.
Jen was about to embark on a journey into” risking”, through her friendships. The risk could help her transform a false belief she had discovered about herself. That false believe was: ‘if I risk, I will loose something’.
AH HA CHANGING MOMENT
Jen’s ah ha moment came when she focused in on what was going on inside of her as she listened to the drama of her friends. What was she thinking or feeling about herself?
It was her fear of risking that limited the relationship not the drama. She was inwardly judging herself for not risking -being honest. She wanted more in their friendship and it showed up as frustration by judging their drama.
RELEASING A BLOCK TO CHANGE
Jen felt her friendship wouldn’t be important to her friends if she didn’t continue to play the same role in the relationship. And risking could mean loosing their friendship. Yet, not risking meant creating disharmony within the friendship, and thus causing a rift between them anyway.
In the one, she could choose growth. In the other, she could choose to not risk, and therefore stay stuck.
CHANGE RESULTS
Jen chose to listen to her inner voice discovering what was really triggering her frustration. She chose not to get angry when she expected her friends to change.
By “risking” she grew in courage and strength and created an opening for growth in herself and her relationship with her friends.
In being honest, by telling her friends that she wanted more out of their relationship, and not just the drama of the same old thing every time they met, they all could make a choice to choose to do without the dramas and move into a place where there are bigger and better experiences for all of them.
Honestly looking at our own motives first is always the best policy. Coach Linda
I have found myself very frustrated with the drama of my friends lately. The strange thing –I never really noticed it before and now that I can hear it in their stories. I am so annoyed that I do not even want to spend time talking to them, but I don’t want to give up their friendship either.
Any insight into how I can change my way of thinking about them? Is it them or me? Jen
Coach Linda’s “Assessment and Help”
SITUATION
Coach Linda Berger gave Jen a call to understand the specifics of her question. Jen mentioned that she no longer had the patience of listening to the drama of her girlfriend’s lives. She was interested in moving forward in her life and not spending hours talking and listening to the same old stories.
Nothing had changed in their stories although something changed inside of Jen. She didn’t want to loose her dear friends although spending time with them was extremely stressful. She just wanted to tell them how she felt but didn’t want to hurt their feelings.
OBJECTIVES/GOALS
Coach Linda suggested Jen get in touch with the true source of her frustration, by looking deeper into what feelings or thoughts she was trying to become aware of, without dumping her frustrations on them.
Linda explained to Jen that frustration is a distraction covering up a potential unmet expectation, fear or outgrown belief about ourselves.
At this point she could either stay stuck, or she could choose to use this opportunity to take a risk with her friends, in order to overcome this once and for all.
SOLUTIONS FOR CHANGE
Coach Linda reminded Jen that life only has itself to teach us about our magnificence; and these circumstances created an ideal chance for her to grow by risking.
Jen was about to embark on a journey into” risking”, through her friendships. The risk could help her transform a false belief she had discovered about herself. That false believe was: ‘if I risk, I will loose something’.
AH HA CHANGING MOMENT
Jen’s ah ha moment came when she focused in on what was going on inside of her as she listened to the drama of her friends. What was she thinking or feeling about herself?
It was her fear of risking that limited the relationship not the drama. She was inwardly judging herself for not risking -being honest. She wanted more in their friendship and it showed up as frustration by judging their drama.
RELEASING A BLOCK TO CHANGE
Jen felt her friendship wouldn’t be important to her friends if she didn’t continue to play the same role in the relationship. And risking could mean loosing their friendship. Yet, not risking meant creating disharmony within the friendship, and thus causing a rift between them anyway.
In the one, she could choose growth. In the other, she could choose to not risk, and therefore stay stuck.
CHANGE RESULTS
Jen chose to listen to her inner voice discovering what was really triggering her frustration. She chose not to get angry when she expected her friends to change.
By “risking” she grew in courage and strength and created an opening for growth in herself and her relationship with her friends.
In being honest, by telling her friends that she wanted more out of their relationship, and not just the drama of the same old thing every time they met, they all could make a choice to choose to do without the dramas and move into a place where there are bigger and better experiences for all of them.
Honestly looking at our own motives first is always the best policy. Coach Linda
Thursday, July 16, 2009
REAL ESTATE AGENTS FILLED WITH INDECISION AND FEAR
Dorothy knew she wanted to sell real estate BUT she wanted to do it on her terms. In the twenty plus years she had spent selling real estate she knew there were aspects of the business that did not peak her interest anymore.
After all, she was a veteran and had paid her dues long ago. Now it was time for fun while making money. And then reality hit…the real estate market took a drastic turn to the left and Dorothy had to make some important changes.
She had choices to make…does she stay and learn the skills she needs, continue down the road she has been going, or leave the real estate business and start a new career or job?
Dorothy’s situation is more common than not in the real estate market as brokerage companies’ profits are hitting an all-time low. There are more agents making up the complexion of the real estate offices like Dorothy than there are high performers.
Brokerage offices are facing lower production levels because many of their agents are hitting production walls like never before.
Even the veterans have to upgrade their business tools and suffer through the time-consuming learning curve to keep up with the market changes. Or do they?
SITUATION
Coach Linda Berger spoke to Dorothy about her situation. Dorothy did not want to leave the real estate market, although her priorities had changed; real estate now was strictly a vehicle for money to pay the bills and supplement her other sources of revenue.
She didn’t want to build a business –Dorothy just wanted to sell a few homes a year and enjoy her life. This goal filled her with guilt and then anger for feeling guilty.
Her dilemma was the fear of having this conversation with her broker, as she had been feeling that she must produce at a high level of production for her office. She knew that her heart was not into higher production and her guilt kept her from even a few closing a year.
Dorothy’s inner struggle to do it ‘her way’ impeded her ability to do it anyway!
OBJECTIVES / GOALS
Coach Linda suggested Dorothy have a heart to heart talk with herself and determine what she was willing to give up in order to have a few closings a year. And where would she draw the line as to not moving one more step forward.
How could she give up the anger blocking her forward movement? What would she need to move forward in agreement?
SOLUTIONS
Dorothy knew she didn’t want to build a business. She just wanted to work a simple plan and use the rest of her time doing other things that she loved to do and be with the people she wanted to be with.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO REACH SOLUTIONS
She acknowledged her past successes which empowered her to understand that she no longer had anything to prove with a high production level. She had been there …done that. Dorothy just wanted to make some money.
By empowering herself within the boundaries of her working agreement she became very clear on what she would generate within the walls of the company she worked for.
The final step would be to create action steps supporting the choices and agreement she had made with herself and her broker.
AH HA BREAKTHROUGH MOMENTS
Dorothy’s ah ha breakthrough moment came during her heart to heart moment, when life opened to the wide angle as Coach Linda calls it… and revealed that it was okay to work in real estate for the money.
She knew that her desire to always do the best for her clients would continue to be her focus and just because her financial priorities had changed, Dorothy’s work ethics had not.
In that one moment she felt stronger in her choices.
RELEASING A BLOCK TO A BREAKTHROUGH
There were so many other things she wanted to do and the feelings of guilt locked her focus on one choice; and that one choice barred the door to create a few closings that year.
BREAKTHROUGH RESULTS
Dorothy made the breakthrough she so desperately wanted to, and released the block to her production.
Now she works for her production level, does what she loves outside of real estate, and touches the lives of people with her talents and knowledge.
In being true to herself, Dorothy opened the door to her own potential and closed more real estate transactions along the way.
When we are in inner turmoil our financial supply starts to diminish. Reconcile the turmoil and the flow starts. Coach Linda
After all, she was a veteran and had paid her dues long ago. Now it was time for fun while making money. And then reality hit…the real estate market took a drastic turn to the left and Dorothy had to make some important changes.
She had choices to make…does she stay and learn the skills she needs, continue down the road she has been going, or leave the real estate business and start a new career or job?
Dorothy’s situation is more common than not in the real estate market as brokerage companies’ profits are hitting an all-time low. There are more agents making up the complexion of the real estate offices like Dorothy than there are high performers.
Brokerage offices are facing lower production levels because many of their agents are hitting production walls like never before.
Even the veterans have to upgrade their business tools and suffer through the time-consuming learning curve to keep up with the market changes. Or do they?
SITUATION
Coach Linda Berger spoke to Dorothy about her situation. Dorothy did not want to leave the real estate market, although her priorities had changed; real estate now was strictly a vehicle for money to pay the bills and supplement her other sources of revenue.
She didn’t want to build a business –Dorothy just wanted to sell a few homes a year and enjoy her life. This goal filled her with guilt and then anger for feeling guilty.
Her dilemma was the fear of having this conversation with her broker, as she had been feeling that she must produce at a high level of production for her office. She knew that her heart was not into higher production and her guilt kept her from even a few closing a year.
Dorothy’s inner struggle to do it ‘her way’ impeded her ability to do it anyway!
OBJECTIVES / GOALS
Coach Linda suggested Dorothy have a heart to heart talk with herself and determine what she was willing to give up in order to have a few closings a year. And where would she draw the line as to not moving one more step forward.
How could she give up the anger blocking her forward movement? What would she need to move forward in agreement?
SOLUTIONS
Dorothy knew she didn’t want to build a business. She just wanted to work a simple plan and use the rest of her time doing other things that she loved to do and be with the people she wanted to be with.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO REACH SOLUTIONS
She acknowledged her past successes which empowered her to understand that she no longer had anything to prove with a high production level. She had been there …done that. Dorothy just wanted to make some money.
By empowering herself within the boundaries of her working agreement she became very clear on what she would generate within the walls of the company she worked for.
The final step would be to create action steps supporting the choices and agreement she had made with herself and her broker.
AH HA BREAKTHROUGH MOMENTS
Dorothy’s ah ha breakthrough moment came during her heart to heart moment, when life opened to the wide angle as Coach Linda calls it… and revealed that it was okay to work in real estate for the money.
She knew that her desire to always do the best for her clients would continue to be her focus and just because her financial priorities had changed, Dorothy’s work ethics had not.
In that one moment she felt stronger in her choices.
RELEASING A BLOCK TO A BREAKTHROUGH
There were so many other things she wanted to do and the feelings of guilt locked her focus on one choice; and that one choice barred the door to create a few closings that year.
BREAKTHROUGH RESULTS
Dorothy made the breakthrough she so desperately wanted to, and released the block to her production.
Now she works for her production level, does what she loves outside of real estate, and touches the lives of people with her talents and knowledge.
In being true to herself, Dorothy opened the door to her own potential and closed more real estate transactions along the way.
When we are in inner turmoil our financial supply starts to diminish. Reconcile the turmoil and the flow starts. Coach Linda
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
TORN BETWEEN TWO CHOICES
Sam asks Coach Linda for Help:
The past few years have been extremely challenging. I have been dealing with financial matters, family challenges, and losses in my investment portfolio. On top of all of that -I am married to a dynamic and amazing woman.
Since I got married, my wife and I have not been able to concentrate on our life, starting a family or simply moving forward in our life because of all of my important distractions.
I remember reading that you always say to look at the cause not the symptoms. I can see and feel the symptoms but am unable to find my cause. Can you help guide me in the right direction?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coach Linda’s Response to Sam
During their call Coach Linda Berger was able to guide Sam in the direction he needed to go. Straight to what he didn’t want to hear.
SITUATION:
Sam has a very big and caring heart which one can only see with close examination and a trained eye. He really cares and is willing to do whatever it takes to do the right thing.
If there is one thing I can spot is a mushy heart behind a tough demeanor. Sam has taken on insurmountable challenges so early in his married life, all of which appear seemingly worth the stress and strain on his life and possibly marriage.
His wife “had his back” on his journey to reconcile the situations on which he felt he had no choice but to move forward. Everyone was counting on him to do the right thing.
OBJECTIVES /GOALS
Sam was focused on what was happening in front of him, and in that process he was completely in a reactive mode of operating. His plate quickly became over-filled with situations creating chaos in his financial and personal life.
Sam wanted to make productive decisions that would allow him to view these situations from a broader perspective, so that he could reevaluate his past choices and find their common denominator. He was looking to name it…tame it…claim it…
SOLUTIONS IN CHANGE
He was caught in reacting, instead of calculating the risk factor. Emotions were replacing his business sense. He knew this road could create financial perils for him in the very near future. He needed to quickly change his perspective and then create a plan to support that focus.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO REACH CHANGE
Coach Linda told Sam that he was in a battle for his strength and courage while being emotionally entrenched in matters of the heart. He could not think himself out of this one.
She explained, much to his chagrin, that his well developed business and decision-making skills weren’t going to work to relieve this chaos. Sam was used to taking calculated risks.
Although the opponent appeared to be the evil forces of family dynamics, the volatile money platforms, and expenses that were quickly adding up, Sam felt he had no control. He just wanted to do the right thing. And the right thing was creating great stress in his life and within his body.
At this point Sam’s only decision was the hardest one he had made thus far –to make a choice –he had to choose.
AH HA CREATING CHANGE MOMENT
Sam’s ah ha changing moment came when he realized he had been a fence sitter. That it takes great inner strength and courage to go against the grain, the so-called ‘doing the right thing’.
Even though all signs pointed to his ‘doing the right thing’…he was really controlling “how he looked” in doing the right thing, by not choosing.
He was letting the circumstances pull him in deeper, versus making tough decisions that build inner strength and courage.
RELEASING A CHANGE BLOCK
Sam’s newly developed decision-making skill level was a life lesson given to him through engaging in his life and the matters of his heart.
He realized that he had been blindsided by the circumstances in trying to ‘do the right thing’. In hindsight, the ‘right thing’ changes with different perspectives and emotional attachments from each person at any given moment.
CREATING CHANGE RESULTS
Sam now knows that personal inner growth happens when faced with what appears to be a higher purpose…in this case his family. But what about his new family? What was the price he was paying to be in control of doing the right thing? He determined to guide himself with his own internal strength and courage, and the “right thing” for him will come out of that.
Is it our task to identify the “right thing” to do, for ourselves? No one outside of us has the key to that knowledge. It is locked inside of each of us for our own discovery. Coach Linda
The past few years have been extremely challenging. I have been dealing with financial matters, family challenges, and losses in my investment portfolio. On top of all of that -I am married to a dynamic and amazing woman.
Since I got married, my wife and I have not been able to concentrate on our life, starting a family or simply moving forward in our life because of all of my important distractions.
I remember reading that you always say to look at the cause not the symptoms. I can see and feel the symptoms but am unable to find my cause. Can you help guide me in the right direction?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coach Linda’s Response to Sam
During their call Coach Linda Berger was able to guide Sam in the direction he needed to go. Straight to what he didn’t want to hear.
SITUATION:
Sam has a very big and caring heart which one can only see with close examination and a trained eye. He really cares and is willing to do whatever it takes to do the right thing.
If there is one thing I can spot is a mushy heart behind a tough demeanor. Sam has taken on insurmountable challenges so early in his married life, all of which appear seemingly worth the stress and strain on his life and possibly marriage.
His wife “had his back” on his journey to reconcile the situations on which he felt he had no choice but to move forward. Everyone was counting on him to do the right thing.
OBJECTIVES /GOALS
Sam was focused on what was happening in front of him, and in that process he was completely in a reactive mode of operating. His plate quickly became over-filled with situations creating chaos in his financial and personal life.
Sam wanted to make productive decisions that would allow him to view these situations from a broader perspective, so that he could reevaluate his past choices and find their common denominator. He was looking to name it…tame it…claim it…
SOLUTIONS IN CHANGE
He was caught in reacting, instead of calculating the risk factor. Emotions were replacing his business sense. He knew this road could create financial perils for him in the very near future. He needed to quickly change his perspective and then create a plan to support that focus.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO REACH CHANGE
Coach Linda told Sam that he was in a battle for his strength and courage while being emotionally entrenched in matters of the heart. He could not think himself out of this one.
She explained, much to his chagrin, that his well developed business and decision-making skills weren’t going to work to relieve this chaos. Sam was used to taking calculated risks.
Although the opponent appeared to be the evil forces of family dynamics, the volatile money platforms, and expenses that were quickly adding up, Sam felt he had no control. He just wanted to do the right thing. And the right thing was creating great stress in his life and within his body.
At this point Sam’s only decision was the hardest one he had made thus far –to make a choice –he had to choose.
AH HA CREATING CHANGE MOMENT
Sam’s ah ha changing moment came when he realized he had been a fence sitter. That it takes great inner strength and courage to go against the grain, the so-called ‘doing the right thing’.
Even though all signs pointed to his ‘doing the right thing’…he was really controlling “how he looked” in doing the right thing, by not choosing.
He was letting the circumstances pull him in deeper, versus making tough decisions that build inner strength and courage.
RELEASING A CHANGE BLOCK
Sam’s newly developed decision-making skill level was a life lesson given to him through engaging in his life and the matters of his heart.
He realized that he had been blindsided by the circumstances in trying to ‘do the right thing’. In hindsight, the ‘right thing’ changes with different perspectives and emotional attachments from each person at any given moment.
CREATING CHANGE RESULTS
Sam now knows that personal inner growth happens when faced with what appears to be a higher purpose…in this case his family. But what about his new family? What was the price he was paying to be in control of doing the right thing? He determined to guide himself with his own internal strength and courage, and the “right thing” for him will come out of that.
Is it our task to identify the “right thing” to do, for ourselves? No one outside of us has the key to that knowledge. It is locked inside of each of us for our own discovery. Coach Linda
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
—CHANGE YOUR LIFE, CHANGE YOUR MIND
There are moments even in a coach’s life that we just do not want to look at the big picture of our life. When blame is so justified and easy to do, why can’t we point the finger at someone for deeply hurting us?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coach Linda Berger's explanation to help change your life by changing your mind
As a coach and metaphysical student and teacher for many years it never ceases to amaze me at how many times I find myself getting tripped up by blame. When I want to point the finger and blame someone and say, “I never would have been so thoughtless. Or I never would have hurt you like that. And then of course the all-time favorite one, I never would have said that to you.”
The one common word in all the statements made is ‘never’. The “I never” puts us all into a level of arrogance that I myself do not want to lay claim. Until, of course, I look at the bigger picture and realize that “I never” in reality should have been “I often”.
As a coach and a master of change, having lived through way too much of my own and studied the stages of change in friends, family and clients, I know from an intimate level that change is an unwanted visitor. Change is the visitor you want to hide from –don’t answer the door, the phone or if you put your head down and not look at – change will not see you. Just keep walking.
We all know in reality that is called denial. And I don’t know about you but ‘I have never’ been in denial. As a matter of fact…my fact is…I am a realist! At least I think so.
SITUATION:
One of my dearest and closest friends called one morning and completely dumped everything that she was feeling on me because she thought it was my fault. Something she thought I didn’t do, which I did do, and just did not bother to mention it. And because I made the fatal mistake of not mentioning IT…I broke her heart! Yes, she is a drama queen.
Being a reformed guilt and shame junkie I immediately went into my drug of choice…shame. Feeling sorry for my misunderstood self, I fell into self-pity.
OBJECTIVES /GOALS
When I got off the phone the beaten down shamed part of me immediately went to redo what she had said I didn’t do even though I had already done it. I needed to do a better job the second time around to make my own shame go away.
And as I was in the middle of my shame-filled thoughts of ‘not good enough’ friend, I stopped dead in my tracks because I realized what had just happened. My desire to heal the shamed thoughts and triggers was placed right in my lap, through my friend blaming me. She opened the guilt and shame door and before I knew what was happening, I walked right in.
SOLUTIONS
Even though I wanted to feel sorry for myself having been misunderstood without the opportunity to redeem myself, I knew that I couldn’t stay in that negative energy. I had to remember the big picture in my life and understand that she had given me an opportunity to review my choice of choosing shame and guilt. In this review period I could see how I was responsible for when and if I chose to veil my perceptions in shame.
As a metaphysical student, I know that nothing happens for naught. I owed it to myself and clients to be diligent in finding my own ah ha moment from this experience.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO CREATE CHANGE
My visual for life in simple terms is viewed through my camera lens. I teach my clients and students that life is lived in a zoom lens. We see, hear, speak and feel our surroundings through a single dimensional lens that reflects back to us that which we have it focused on.
We choose the moments to record in our mind and then add the story depending on our audience. Once in a while as we learn to take more and more responsibility for our choices, life opens to the wide angle lens. That’s when we view our life as part of a bigger picture while expanding into a place we cannot see in our zoom lens.
Life becomes about our choices affecting others, instead of others affecting us. And so it was with my choice at this time.
AH HA MOMENT CREATING CHANGE
I came face-to-face with my shame that day, brought on by my friends blame, and I said, ‘NO’.
I realized in that moment that she had triggered by ability to feel guilt and shame. As a shame and guilt ex-junkie, I went right to my old friends and picked them up as I had so many times in my life.
This time something was different. It wasn’t the same. I didn’t get the same charge.
As a matter of fact, within minutes of our conversation, I had figured out what had happened, and I laughed.
My ah ha changing moment came when I knew from my core that I had changed. My drug of shame and guilt had become a teaching tool. I had named it…tamed it…claimed it…
RELEASING A BLOCK TO CHANGE
Now I have to admit, I didn’t want to let this go. I wanted retribution. “How dare you accuse me.” I went back and forth from student to teacher and back again for sometime. If I was the student and learned something from this experience, then she won. A part of me just wanted to win to teach her a lesson.
I didn’t want to admit that I had desperately needed this opportunity to prove to myself that I had truly left the guilt and shame behind me. Guilt and shame were no longer tools used against me but they became more sword and shield to help others.
CREATING CHANGE RESULTS
It took a powerful friend, bonded through love and loyalty, for our friendship to stand up in strength and courage to risk teaching a powerful lesson in life.
How could I hold on to pain when I was given the freedom to heal myself and others by the power of love in friendship. So I let go of the pain, as I accepted my own self-healing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coach Linda Berger's explanation to help change your life by changing your mind
As a coach and metaphysical student and teacher for many years it never ceases to amaze me at how many times I find myself getting tripped up by blame. When I want to point the finger and blame someone and say, “I never would have been so thoughtless. Or I never would have hurt you like that. And then of course the all-time favorite one, I never would have said that to you.”
The one common word in all the statements made is ‘never’. The “I never” puts us all into a level of arrogance that I myself do not want to lay claim. Until, of course, I look at the bigger picture and realize that “I never” in reality should have been “I often”.
As a coach and a master of change, having lived through way too much of my own and studied the stages of change in friends, family and clients, I know from an intimate level that change is an unwanted visitor. Change is the visitor you want to hide from –don’t answer the door, the phone or if you put your head down and not look at – change will not see you. Just keep walking.
We all know in reality that is called denial. And I don’t know about you but ‘I have never’ been in denial. As a matter of fact…my fact is…I am a realist! At least I think so.
SITUATION:
One of my dearest and closest friends called one morning and completely dumped everything that she was feeling on me because she thought it was my fault. Something she thought I didn’t do, which I did do, and just did not bother to mention it. And because I made the fatal mistake of not mentioning IT…I broke her heart! Yes, she is a drama queen.
Being a reformed guilt and shame junkie I immediately went into my drug of choice…shame. Feeling sorry for my misunderstood self, I fell into self-pity.
OBJECTIVES /GOALS
When I got off the phone the beaten down shamed part of me immediately went to redo what she had said I didn’t do even though I had already done it. I needed to do a better job the second time around to make my own shame go away.
And as I was in the middle of my shame-filled thoughts of ‘not good enough’ friend, I stopped dead in my tracks because I realized what had just happened. My desire to heal the shamed thoughts and triggers was placed right in my lap, through my friend blaming me. She opened the guilt and shame door and before I knew what was happening, I walked right in.
SOLUTIONS
Even though I wanted to feel sorry for myself having been misunderstood without the opportunity to redeem myself, I knew that I couldn’t stay in that negative energy. I had to remember the big picture in my life and understand that she had given me an opportunity to review my choice of choosing shame and guilt. In this review period I could see how I was responsible for when and if I chose to veil my perceptions in shame.
As a metaphysical student, I know that nothing happens for naught. I owed it to myself and clients to be diligent in finding my own ah ha moment from this experience.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO CREATE CHANGE
My visual for life in simple terms is viewed through my camera lens. I teach my clients and students that life is lived in a zoom lens. We see, hear, speak and feel our surroundings through a single dimensional lens that reflects back to us that which we have it focused on.
We choose the moments to record in our mind and then add the story depending on our audience. Once in a while as we learn to take more and more responsibility for our choices, life opens to the wide angle lens. That’s when we view our life as part of a bigger picture while expanding into a place we cannot see in our zoom lens.
Life becomes about our choices affecting others, instead of others affecting us. And so it was with my choice at this time.
AH HA MOMENT CREATING CHANGE
I came face-to-face with my shame that day, brought on by my friends blame, and I said, ‘NO’.
I realized in that moment that she had triggered by ability to feel guilt and shame. As a shame and guilt ex-junkie, I went right to my old friends and picked them up as I had so many times in my life.
This time something was different. It wasn’t the same. I didn’t get the same charge.
As a matter of fact, within minutes of our conversation, I had figured out what had happened, and I laughed.
My ah ha changing moment came when I knew from my core that I had changed. My drug of shame and guilt had become a teaching tool. I had named it…tamed it…claimed it…
RELEASING A BLOCK TO CHANGE
Now I have to admit, I didn’t want to let this go. I wanted retribution. “How dare you accuse me.” I went back and forth from student to teacher and back again for sometime. If I was the student and learned something from this experience, then she won. A part of me just wanted to win to teach her a lesson.
I didn’t want to admit that I had desperately needed this opportunity to prove to myself that I had truly left the guilt and shame behind me. Guilt and shame were no longer tools used against me but they became more sword and shield to help others.
CREATING CHANGE RESULTS
It took a powerful friend, bonded through love and loyalty, for our friendship to stand up in strength and courage to risk teaching a powerful lesson in life.
How could I hold on to pain when I was given the freedom to heal myself and others by the power of love in friendship. So I let go of the pain, as I accepted my own self-healing.
Friday, July 10, 2009
DAY 9—REALTOR TAKES RISK…WAS IT THE RIGHT ONE?
Jon entered the real estate business in 2008. He was ready, willing and able to jump right in the shifting market and start making money until…reality hit…the market!
Jon had the foresight to envision potential hazards in his new business without the right type of guidance.
Coach Linda Berger was referred to him by agents in his office and started coaching before he got lost in the chaos of lenders not lending money, sellers loosing their homes and buyers just wanting the best deal and then not sure they got the best deal.
SITUATION
Jon realized he was financially risking by hiring Coach Linda even though she had come highly recommended.
When weighing the risks he could –spend money and time marketing and hoping that he was taking the best steps to build a solid foundation for his business or risk adding to the initial investment -hire a qualified coach that knows the real estate business to teach him how to add value to himself and his business and help navigate him through the risk.
He made the investment part of his business start up costs determined it would facilitate a shorter lag time in finding his way around the volatile real estate market.
OBJECTIVES / GOALS
Coach Linda worked with Jon on building a systemized business that would support his goals and would make his growing schedule easier to manage.
Jon knew his most important responsibility to his clients was writing and negotiated contracts to close. Jon also realized that there are a million I’s to dot and T’s to cross so it was essential to his success that he create his operating manual and check lists supporting his systems.
SOLUTIONS
Coach Linda suggested that as Jon went through each aspect of his business that he write down all of the steps taken and the calls needed to create a successful contract to close. Also, to do the same for listings and buyer interviews. He built his systems around the essentials steps in real estate.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO REACH SOLUTIONS
The most important action Jon had to take was ‘to take action’ and keep taking action in the direction of the closing table which is what his clients expected of him.
Jon worked a scheduled that was built around his goals and business objectives. When he didn’t feel like showing up that day he would review his goals and take out his action plan to motivate him to keep going.
AH HA BREAKTHROUGH MOMENTS
As Jon started to work with more clients and receive more and more referrals he realized the time he invested in building a strong foundation paid off with closings –sooner rather than later. The financial investment he made up front cast the foundation of a solid focused business. He said ‘coaching made all the difference for him and he wouldn’t be where he is now only months into the business.’
RELEASING A BLOCK TO A BREAKTHROUGH
Jon feared loosing his savings if he didn’t have a closing. He also realized he was in a catch 22. Hire a coach to close deals faster or not hire a coach and hope he could do it on his own. He took the risk and learned the value of calculated risk taking instead of blind faith.
BREAKTHROUGH RESULTS
Jon has had three closings and three more set to close. He has two listings and two pre-qualified buyers.
Now those are results worth risking for. Linda
Jon had the foresight to envision potential hazards in his new business without the right type of guidance.
Coach Linda Berger was referred to him by agents in his office and started coaching before he got lost in the chaos of lenders not lending money, sellers loosing their homes and buyers just wanting the best deal and then not sure they got the best deal.
SITUATION
Jon realized he was financially risking by hiring Coach Linda even though she had come highly recommended.
When weighing the risks he could –spend money and time marketing and hoping that he was taking the best steps to build a solid foundation for his business or risk adding to the initial investment -hire a qualified coach that knows the real estate business to teach him how to add value to himself and his business and help navigate him through the risk.
He made the investment part of his business start up costs determined it would facilitate a shorter lag time in finding his way around the volatile real estate market.
OBJECTIVES / GOALS
Coach Linda worked with Jon on building a systemized business that would support his goals and would make his growing schedule easier to manage.
Jon knew his most important responsibility to his clients was writing and negotiated contracts to close. Jon also realized that there are a million I’s to dot and T’s to cross so it was essential to his success that he create his operating manual and check lists supporting his systems.
SOLUTIONS
Coach Linda suggested that as Jon went through each aspect of his business that he write down all of the steps taken and the calls needed to create a successful contract to close. Also, to do the same for listings and buyer interviews. He built his systems around the essentials steps in real estate.
TASKS AND SYSTEMS TO REACH SOLUTIONS
The most important action Jon had to take was ‘to take action’ and keep taking action in the direction of the closing table which is what his clients expected of him.
Jon worked a scheduled that was built around his goals and business objectives. When he didn’t feel like showing up that day he would review his goals and take out his action plan to motivate him to keep going.
AH HA BREAKTHROUGH MOMENTS
As Jon started to work with more clients and receive more and more referrals he realized the time he invested in building a strong foundation paid off with closings –sooner rather than later. The financial investment he made up front cast the foundation of a solid focused business. He said ‘coaching made all the difference for him and he wouldn’t be where he is now only months into the business.’
RELEASING A BLOCK TO A BREAKTHROUGH
Jon feared loosing his savings if he didn’t have a closing. He also realized he was in a catch 22. Hire a coach to close deals faster or not hire a coach and hope he could do it on his own. He took the risk and learned the value of calculated risk taking instead of blind faith.
BREAKTHROUGH RESULTS
Jon has had three closings and three more set to close. He has two listings and two pre-qualified buyers.
Now those are results worth risking for. Linda
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
